Beautifully Complex and Frustrating

Well, I’m coming home in about a week.

Don’t have too much to say at the moment.

It ended well after we our final week long trip together in Jerusalem finished: We had good goodbyes. Lots of summarizings of the year. Last moments of bonding. Tons of crying.

The connections are strong. Right now, they almost feel alive and breathing. Tangible.

Not to be cliché …

I hope that my friends, here, find ways to continue seeing each other, despite their drafting into the army and following their own separate paths inside. And I hope, when the opportunities present themselves, that the other internationals and I find ways to easily reconnect with each other and with our Israelis.

A word we liked to use here was “process.” The process that each one of us went through over the year. How we changed and how we grew. And I think that this process I underwent is one of the most precious gifts I could be taking home with me from this year. Something that is going to have to follow me wherever I go and with whatever I decide to do. I didn’t see my process happen. And I don’t see how I am different from the beginning. But I witnessed others’ and I see the beauty of both who they were and who they became. These others have said the same to me. So, I really hope that this gift does stay with me and I don’t loose who I am. That, in my next adventures, I can continue to carve this path onward and upward.

I do not know what will become of this blog when I return. America just doesn’t seem exciting enough to me to document. Life there is my normal life from nefore this year. I will not be able to do work with Asylum Seekers or be living in an emmersive environment of a completely different culture. Canada, where I will be attending university, isn’t so far off from America, either. (Sorry to all my Canadian friends out there. Your country is still amazing.) And university is just university. Almost every 18-plus year-old in the world goes through this experience. I will always have things to say and share. Opinions and thoughts that I have developed and crafted. But I simply don’t know yet if I will feel like they will be important enough to share with the world.

So for all of those who stayed with me the whole way, thank you – for now, at least – for experiencing this part of my special year with me. Even if it was only for one or two readings here or there. These blog posts have documented the most formative year of my life yet. And it was a great ride. And maybe there will be more moments to come, who’s to say. Like everything else, I will wait and see.

In the meantime, I will be enjoying my last week in Israel. Traveling the country with friends, visiting other friends and family for the last times, and just simply getting my fill of this hot, humid, and beautifully complex and frustrating place.

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One thought on “Beautifully Complex and Frustrating

  1. Dear Jazlyn, Thank you for giving us the honor of learning from you as you have learned through your Gap year experience. I suspect that you and we will recognize the many ways we have all changed since August 2015. I can still feel the intensity of emotion as we said goodbye in the diner when the four Saratoga Hellmans departed for Montreal. July of 2016 seemed so far away but, in retrospect, the months flew by. Now it seem these this next week and some days well be an eternity. We send our love and wishes for safety and good times. Love, Bubbe and Zayde

    On Sun, Jun 26, 2016 at 7:44 AM, HereToThere ThenElsewhere wrote:

    > aaallthatjaz posted: “Well, I’m coming home in about a week. Don’t have > too much to say at the moment. It ended well after we our final week long > trip together in Jerusalem finished: We had good goodbyes. Lots of > summarizings of the year. Last moments of bonding. Tons of cr” >

    Like

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